Broke my silence. It is painful, degrading, humiliating. I have been strong my entire life. Even as a child I would shoulder the blame or the pain of others. I am my mother’s daughter to a fault. She was always there for everyone and each day I saw how it broke her down. How hurt she would get when others would dare be mean or inconsiderate. She was the most beautiful woman you would ever want to meet. She loved beyond the limits and gave even when she couldn’t. The day she died a huge chunk of me died too. My journey of self-realization began on October 22nd, 1996., the day she died. I knew I could no longer be that person that I was running and hiding from. I knew there had to be a way out. I knew but I stayed. I prayed. I helped him recover, he continued with denial, I endured and I loved. And the end result was my beautiful boys who stood by my side through the darkest of times. Without them I would not be here. Fourteen years later I broke my silence. Living with an alcoholic/drug abuser, sexually abusive, narcissist has left me with scars that sometimes I feel will never heal. But I persist because I love deeply and continue to journey for my boys and for there futures. I may walk this path alone but I most certainly am not alone.
This is my story. This is my journey. This is me.
silentrecovery 